2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)

2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)

2-headed-shark-attack

This one is weird (really), it is from the same people that made the awesome Sharknado but it does not hit the mark in the same way in-as-much that it is not bad-funny.  This is a typical teen horror flick with some not so well know actors and Carmen Electra.

The story is well trodden, they are in a boat in the middle of the sea, something goes wrong and they retreat to an atoll where through a series of crazy events most of the people (teenagers) get ripped apart by the 2 headed beast of a shark.  You can see the kills coming a mile off, one group (a guy with 2 girls) leaves the group to go skinny dipping, 1st rule of horror is if you have sex (or even try to have sex) you die; surprise surprise they die.

carmen_electra-6485

Another dude (an obnoxious jock no less) tries to save himself, 2nd rule, selfishness gets you killed, he dies (yippee, he was an arse anyway).  Carmen Electra’s role was typical, lots of shots of her  on the deck of the boat sunning herself provocatively, who does that in real life, most people slap on the factor 50 and just grill themselves in the sun moving only to turn over or get a drink, noooo, not our Carmen,  5 minutes of pouting and writhing on deck, scarier than the shark.  Even worse was her acting, I suppose she doesn’t get hired for her acting skills but having more than one expression and tone of voice would have helped.  I am not giving anything away but she dies along with the leading man but not in the way you would think.

Brooke_Hogan_080Then we come to Brook Hogan, another one that was not hired for acting ability, I don’t think she was even hired for her looks but rather the Hogan name.  She is better than Carmen but not by much.

The CGI (?) is the complete opposite of anything you would see from Pixar but, with budgets this low it is surprising that they did what they did.  The shark is interesting in that you can sort of see right through it when it is coming towards the camera with (both) it’s jaws open.  It also has a great signature move that just rips people apart.

Finally, the demise of the shark is straight out of Jaws, quite expected but lame.  Overall this was disappointing and stomach churning, not the best from The Asylum but I suppose they are making films and they are (probably) making money off them which is the overall plan.

Egg rating: 3/10

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