Balls of Fury (2007)

What this is not …

Don’t expect anything that is meaningful or deep in this popcorn of a movie, the jokes are crass and over the top, the characters are over the top and the action (if that is what you call it) is puerile; stuff of the gods.

It’s a spoof, get over it …

One of the reasons I liked this is because it is (sort of) a spoof of all those crappy kung fu movies where the main character goes from being a bum to an enlightened world champ in the course of 90 minutes saving the world in the process.. This is the theory here but he is a ping-pong champ who has fallen from grace and he gets a chance to redeem himself.

So the plot revolves around the main character relearning his talent for ping-pong and getting into an illicit ping-pong championship on a remote island.

The characters …

The main character is Randy Daytona (played by Dan Fogler), I have never seen this dude before in anything but I like him, he is a fat ugly toad of a guy that has an innocent look on his face all the time throughout the film, makes me feel like an Adonis.

The best thing is that he plays it straight and makes you like him (even though he looks better in the dark).

Christopher Walken is the best …

The bad guy is Feng played by the ever weird and crazy Christopher Walken, I think that he has got to the stage in his career where he just plays himself because that what people expect. The one liners he comes out with are great (the one about sudden death is the best). My opinion is that you could have got rid of a few characters and still pissed yourself laughing looking at Christopher Walken.

Other notible characters …

The FBI agent Ernie Rodriquez is played by George Lopez who does a reasonable job but I expected more from him.

A chinese heavy Siu-Foo is played by the great Jason Scott Lee, in fact he uses quotes from the movie Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story that he actually said. It’s good to see him in a comedy role, he made me laugh, the part where he makes a bet with the main character for $5 and asks for change because he only wants to bet $4 is classic, the missus and my son missed it but I was rolling around with that line.

Bottom line …

I wouldn’t put this up there with Harold and Kumar go to White Castle but it is worthy of a look if you need to get out of it for an hour and a half. Some of the gags don’t really do that well and you have probably seen some of the better ones in the trailer but there is enough there to keep you amused.

The DVD is not too bad, the extras are pretty cool, don’t forget to see the one about the Ball Wrangler

Ratings
Overall rating:	7/10 (For making me laugh)
Special effects:	7/10
Acting:	5/10
Music:	6/10
Where seen:	DVD at home
Perceived length:	Short

//*Eggbox

Speed Racer (2008)

What a blast …

I enjoyed this movie for a number of reasons that will be explained as we go along, the basic plot is that there is a kid; surname of Racer, forename of Speed, hence the name of the movie.

For our American cousins surname = last name, forename = first name.

Anyway, he is Speed Racer (played by Emile Hirsch) who is a race car driver like his brother (the brother is is dead), dad runs the garage (played by an aging John Goodman) and mum is the ever hot Susan Sarandon. The love interest is the equally hot Christina Ricci (although she looks like she is in a real cartoon).

This was a cartoon …

I know that this is based on an old cartoon but I have never seen it, from all accounts the quality was somewhat suspect and the stories a bit weak. That cannot be said for this movie (well the graphics anyway), the story is standard fare, the Speed Racer is good and he believes in racing as a sport. He comes down to earth with a bump when the evil business man Royalton (played by Roger Allam) tries to get him to race for him. It comes down to good vs. evil again.

The graphics …

This is probably the main reason to watch the movie, and I suggest that it is at the cinema (that’s the movie theater for you Americans). The colours are bold and brash, the colour pallet is mainly primary which adds to the cartoon feel of the movie as a whole. The directors and the set designers (the term set is probably wrong for this type of movie) must have made this a priority on the movie to give it an out of this world touch, in fact it looks somewhat 60’s style to me.

The races [ not to Formula 1 standards ] …

The real reason for watching the movie is to participate in the experience of the races throughout the movie, the Wachowski brothers have choreographed these to a tee. The track races are so divorced from reality that it is sometimes very hard to know what is going on but it does not matter. There are cars that jump over other cars, make wild turns that are physically impossible, they crash into each other and the only thing that happens to the car is a slight scuff on the paintwork, the drivers never get hurt because there is a system in place that protects them in a ball of bubbles.

On top of that each car has a secret weapon; technically illegal as per the WRL rule book (World Racing League) but it does not stop the teams and the drivers from being devious and creative. Some have rockets, saws, snakes and the like, each weapon matches the drivers personality, a very cool concept, a bit like The Wacky Races but much more violent; I like this :->

The back story …

The races are punctuated with the back story of the dead brother, a law enforcement officer and back stabbing between friends. The younger brother Spritle (played by Paulie Litt) and his chimp add the comic relief to the (sometimes) too serious story for this type of movie.

The Wachowski brother are on the money again …

Andy and Larry are the dudes that gave us the Matrix trilogy, let’s be honest the first one was very very cool, the second was OK and the third was somewhere in the middle. They have a knack of going the whole hog and they have really embraced computer generated movie making. Even the simplest scenes have computer generated effects, that’s why this gets a 10/10 for special effects.

Don’t expect to see photo realism in this movie, obviously the characters are real but the rest of it is probably real only in the computer. It looks like they wanted to make it look like a cartoon, if they did then they succeeded.

Something I didn’t expect …

One that I did not expect was to see so many British actors in the movie, it’s good to see that the Brits are still in demand even for an obviously Hollywood movie, the Wachowski’s know a good thing when they see it (that’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it).

Bottom line …

This is a good fantasy movie for all the family, me and my son thoroughly enjoyed it, good use of a couple of hours). It has something for everyone, the comedy of the younger brother, the computer effects for the for the geeks, the cars and the racing for the boy racers and the heart warming back story for the mums.

There is one final problem to consider, you may find yourself driving a bit faster and taking more chances on the road after watching the movie. In our case we got home 5 minutes quicker than we normally do, time well spent

Ratings
Overall rating:	9/10 For Special Effects
Special effects:	10/10 (the best in a while)
Acting:	6/10 (OK I suppose)
Music:	6/10 (fine for this type of movie)
Where seen:	Movie Theater
Perceived length:	Short

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008)

About time …

Te To say that I have been waiting for this movie to come out is an understatement, the first one [Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)] was a blast. Now don’t misinterpret what I am saying here, the plots in both movies are 100% stupidity, the characters are larger than life and the situations they get into unbelievable if you think for more than a millisecond.

The setup …

The movie starts where the last one left off, right after the dudes have downed a number of White Castle burgers.

A quick explaination for those people who do not live in the US; White Castle is a fast food chain where the burgers are incredibly small but are very tasty. The only problem is that the meat is … well … not prime and the affects on the body are somewhat random. You usually purchase more than you should eat (along with loads of fries and too much soft drink). They are affectionatly known here as “sliders”, they slide in and they slide out the other end.

So we get the picture of Harold (the Asian dude) (played by John Cho) in the shower feeling good about himself because the connected with the hottie in the lift (elevator for our US cousins), smooth music and slow motion, probably the most artistic shot in the whole movie. Luckily this does not last long because Kumar (the Indian dude) (played by Kal Penn) punctuates the moment by taking a dump of mammoth proportions and shattering Harold’s moment.

Guantanamo Bay here we come …

As the title of the movie suggests the pair end up in Guantanamo Bay through a series of events that are just classic, Kumar tries to get into the Mile High club, not in the biblical sense, think of it as more as the Mile High As a Kite Club, he has even invented a battery powered bong to get the most out of the weed, what a guy!

Another aspect of the pot is Kumar’s lost love who they meet when they are at the airport, we see that there is a spark there but the plot takes a twist when we find out that she is marry Kumar’s mortal enemy from college. This dude (Colton played by Eric Winter) is your run of the mill slime ball who you just want to slap, be patient and everything will work itself out

They get on the plane and get arrested by sky marshalls, taken back to the US and interrogated by a secret service offical who is wonderfully played by Rob Corddry, he is an idiotic simpleton who cannot see past his pressed shirt and stupid tie. I just hope that his character is not based on fact but I feel that may not be the case.

So they get to Guantanamo Bay and after a short spell in the cells and some interesting dialogue with the other inmates and guards they get out and back to the US, thus ensures a road trip like the previous movie but with the added suspense of being hunted down by the government.

Where now …

They end up in Miami Florida where they meet a friend who they ask for assistance, this is a great scene, the dude drop in while there is a party going on. Ok, here is where the smut level hits 10, it is not a topless party (which would have been fun) but bottomless, there are some very interesting designs where most men will be looking when the opportunity arrises, I saw a mohawk and a US flag, very creative. The scariest thing here is their friend who is also bottomless, that dude needs a haircut, not on his head.

So the guys borrow a bright yellow open top Mustang and are dressed like Crocket and Tubbs from Miami Vice, so they start their trip, as you can imagine they lose the car are end up with the KKK. This is a short scene that does a great job of making the KKK out to be a bunch of simple, stupid wankers, I don’t think the writers had to make up much stuff here.

The creepy house …

They end up in a hunters lodge with a hottie wife and a cyclopes kid, this is reminisent of the scene with Freakshow in the last movie, it plays out Ok but I felt that it was a bit forced.

Neil Patrick Harris is a God …

What a guy, he is such a sport and a mental at the same time. We meet him as the guys flag down a car and (what a surprise) it’s NPH. He is munching on magic mushrooms, swilling beer and Jack Daniels and still drives better than most people. The scene where he sees the unicorn talking to the FBI man is wonderful, the only problem is that he takes an exit too early in the film.

The final reel …

So it comes down to Harold and Kumar meeting up with good ole George Bush, the movie makes him out to be a pot head (pretty accurate from my perspective) and they get a pardon and a trip to Kumar’s ex-girlfriends wedding. The bottom lines is that Kumar gets the girl, they go to Amsterdam and Harold gets his girl, the last montage is worth sitting through some of the credits for.

Bottom line …

This movie had a lot to live up to, the writers did a good job getting all the things you (now) expect from a Harold and Kumar movie, they did not hold back on the bad taste and everyone gets their just desserts (except NPH).

As you have probably worked out I liked this movie and am giving it a 9 out of 10 because it lived up to the hype and it did make me laugh (boy do I need that at the moment). I don’t have any inside information but I really really hope that they come out with another one sooner rather than later, there is so much that they could take the piss out of, here are some suggestions.

• Harold and Kumar run for President
• Harold and Kumar buy a House and don’t get it Repossessed
• Harold and Kumar run the Federal Reserve
• Harold and Kumar stick it to the Oil Companies
• Harold and Kumar run the United Nations

The possibilities are endless, put these guys in charge of something big, give them a big bag of weed and see whether they can cock it up any better than the guys running it now, I think not.

Ratings
Overall rating:	9/10 For making me laugh
Special effects:	6/10 (not much really)
Acting:	5/10 (par for the course)
Music:	6/10 (fine for this type of movie)
Where seen:	Movie Theater
Perceived length:	Short

Revolver (2005)

I have been waiting for this movie for ages, as you can see the movie was released in 2005 but I have only just picked it up from the local video store.

High hopes …

I did have high hopes for this movie but I should have known that it was not as good as it sounds due to the fact that it did not have a theater release in the US (I don’t know how it did in the UK). All the elements are there, Jason Statham back with Guy Richie directing and written by Guy Richie and Luc Besson.

On top of that you have an evil Ray Liotta playing the boss, Terence Maynard paying his heavy, Vincent Pastore and André Benjamin playing a couple of shady dudes who give Jason a run for his money (literally).

This seems to be setup to be a humdinger of a movie but it has issues.

What I liked …

I liked the characters and the violence, the world they created for the characters to live in is larger than life, everyone has a quirk that makes them stand out. As I said, the violence, any Guy Richie movie is splatter (again, literally) with people getting their just deserts, this is no exception, each death is beautifully choreographed but not overdone.

The plot …

It started out as standard fare, Jason Statham does time for Ray Liotta and he wants to get even, that seems simple enough, well things get complicated with the arrival of Vincent Pastore and André Benjamin who have something over Jason that makes him do whatever they want.

It works out that the whole thing is a con on Jason of the highest caliber, orchestrated by Vincent Pastore and André Benjamin.

What is wrong with it then …

Well the problem is that the intricacies of the plot are too subtle especially for a Guy Richie movie. Yes, it is interesting, though provoking but I don’t want that from this type of movie, I want colourful characters beating the crap out of each other. I don’t want a tortured soul (souls in this case with Ray Liotta being a nutbag as well), I can get that sort of thing listening to Dr. Phil.

The best scene in the movie …

This was the scene when the main character played by Jason Statham is in a lift and he is fighting his alter ego, the scene cuts between him (all quite and cerebral) and his other side going mental, shouting, hitting the walls of the lift and generally being a nutbag (I like that word).

The other best scene in the movie was the montage of death by the hard nosed hit man who gets a conscience when the bad guys are about to kill a child (bad bad people). He goes through about 10 heavies with grace and flair, he gets it in the end but it is an honorable end to his life of misdeeds.

Who was that ?

Francesca Annis makes an appearance in the movie, she has not aged well, I didn’t recognise her at all and only found out she was in it when I read the cast list on the DVD cover. How the mighty have fallen.

Jason, be careful …

Jason Statham is a great action star, Trainsporter, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, Cellular; all great movies, good action and interesting stories.  Then he did Crank and In the Name of the King and this one, not good choices in my opinion.  I will still go and see him in his movies but he better be careful that he picks better movies or people will start to walk.

Bottom line …

I sort of liked it mainly for the characters; I want to call out André Benjamin he is great in this movie, understated but powerful, a pleasure to watch. The plot leaves something to be desired but the violence makes up for it. The main problem is that I think that it was trying to be too clever.

Ratings
Overall rating:	5/10
Violence:	8/10
Acting:	7/10
Music:	6/10
Where seen:	DVD at home
Perceived length:	Medium

//*Eggbox

Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)

Well, what can I say about this movie that will shock you? Not much really you will be shocked enough when you see the movie.

The studios way of thinking …

One way of looking at the movie is that it is a cute fun loving account of some very funny (and furry) chipmunks that make it big in the music industry causing much hilarity along the way.

My way of thinking …

<rant mode on>

Another way of looking at it is that it shows how the commercialization of Christmas leads to habitat destruction (Christmas trees) causing rodents (the Chipmunks) to find refuge in human surroundings. It also shows how the music industry exploits their stars and in this case leads to child labor (the Chipmunks are kids). It also shows how children are fed with media to get them to want more material things rather than the simple things in life.

<rant mode off>

Cute to the extreme …

Apart from that the movie was fine, standard fare for this type of movie, you know that everything will be alright in the end it’s just what happens in between that makes it entertaining (or boring). The animation of the characters is very good indeed, we come to expect a lot more from the animation studios these days and this one does not disappoint. The only thing that I can think of that was a problem (till about a third into the movie) was that the chipmunks all looked the same, it wasn’t until Simon got glasses and Alvin got a shirt with a big A on the front did I get to know one from the other.

The good guy is just OK …

The main human character is played by Jason Lee of My Name is Earl fame, he plays a musician who is down on his luck until he finds the guys. He is a pathetic shell of a man who is pushed around by the excellent David Cross who plays the hard nosed (and a bit creepy) music executive. He also has an (ex) love interest Cameron Richardson who thinks he is mad when he says that he is being haunted by talking chipmunks. She changes her tune very quickly to accept them when she gets the contract to take photos of the little stars, and she thought that Jason Lee was weird.

I liked the bad guy …

I first came saw David Cross in Small Soldiers where he played a kind hearted geek but he is much better in this movie. Evil to Jason Lee from the outset which is just the beginning, he then proceeds to take advantage of the chipmunks by working them to exhaustion. One of the funniest scenes in the movie was the chipmunks being given coffee during a recording session and they start (literally) bouncing off the walls, seeing one of them slide down the window in a caffeine induced stupor is classic.

The music (if that is what you call it) …

This is where the younger kids will enjoy the movie but the adults will just squirm. Bad is an understatement to the extreme, how these tracks make money is a mystery to me. You have no idea what they are singing about and the high pitch is just painful.

Bottom Line …

Not a waste of an hour and a half but having a few drinks before seeing the movie would make the experience a lot better (and if you pass out it will be even better).

Ratings
Overall rating:	5/10
Special effects:	5/10
Acting:	3/10
Music:	2/10
Where seen:	Movie Theater and DVD at home
Perceived length:	Medium

//*Eggbox